Poison Like Your Own
by finishedwithyou
Summary: He's never felt more alone. It's his own fault, really. He knows this. But that doesn't make it hurt any less. NBL oneshot.


* * *

This idea just randomly popped into my head. I love me some Nathan/Brooke/Lucas so that's what this is! It's also AU. Enjoy! And review :)

**Poison Like Your Own**

The thing that gets him the most is how stupid he is. He knew what was happening and he didn't say anything. It's his own fault, really. He knows this. But that doesn't make it hurt any less.

Nathan Scott is dating Brooke Davis.

His brother is dating the girl that _he's_isin love with. Granted, Nathan doesn't know how he feels about Brooke. But that doesn't make Lucas want to break Nathan's jaw any less.

-

He can't get away from them.

Everywhere he goes, they're hugging, or kissing, or talking to others, or even worse, _him_, about how much they love eachother and how happy they are. Lucas knows that he should be happy for them; they're _so _in love with eachother. But all he keeps thinking is that it should be him. He's always kind of had a thing for Brooke, even before they were friends. He feels so lame, because he's in love with somebody else's girlfriend. It's so cliche, he knows, but he can't help it.

"Hey Luke!" She skips up, plopping down next to him on the bench that he's been watching herfrom for the past five minutes. He finds himself grinning and manages to say "hey" back before he sees Nathan approaching them. _Of course._

"Hey babe." Nathan smiles at her, leaning down to press his lips to hers. When he pulls away, Lucas watches Brooke's face light up and he knows that this is the happiest that she's ever been. He really can't stomach this, so he mutters an 'I'll catch you guys later' and walks off.

He's _so_ jealous.

-

They're on their senior class ski trip and Brooke isn't feeling well. Of course, Nathan says that he's staying back with her, but Brooke refuses. She says that he's been looking forward to this trip for such a long time, and that she's not letting him miss even one day of it.

"It's not even bad, Nathan. I'm a big girl. I can survive alone for one day." She tells him.

"I'll stay with her," Lucas says before Nathan has the chance to challenge back. "I mean, I'm not much of a skier anyway."

"Are you sure?" Nathan asks and Lucas nods.

Actually, Lucas loves to skii. He went once with his mom and Keith when he was younger, and he absolutely loved it. He feels pathetic because he'd do anything for this girl. A girl that is in love with somebody else.

Fucking _pathetic._

-

Peyton comes up to him that night after dinner, asking if they can talk. She pulls him outside, away from everybody else.

"Look," she starts, the look on her face anything but friendly, "Nathan and Brooke may not be able to see what you're doing here, but I can."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Peyton." he lies.

"I'm not an idiot, Lucas. Brooke and Nathan, they're happy. _Let them be_." Lucas notices her threatning tone, and before he can even come up with another lie, she's gone. He quietly curses to himself because somebody has finally figured him out.

-

It's been a year since they started dating and Lucas has gone from hurt, to jealous to _completely bitter._

They're at a basketball after-party that Lucas doesn't really want to be at, and out of the corner of his eye, he sees Brooke laughing with Peyton as Nathan tells a story. He also sees the way Nathan's arm is draped around Brooke's shoulders, hers around his waist.

He needs a drink.

-

Later that same night, Nathan approaches him, telling him that he has to go home for a little bit to do something for his mom. Or something like that. Lucas isn't really sure, because he doesn't really care about what Nathan is saying. He goes on to say something about looking out for Brooke, making sure she doesn't drink too much. All Lucas really wants to do is go home and go to sleep. He agrees anyway.

"Thanks, Luke. You're a good friend." _If only he knew._

-

He's walking Brooke out to his car when Nathan walks up.

"Sorry, man. The thing at home took a lot longer than I expected."

Before Lucas can say anything back, Brooke is running, stumbling actually, into Nathan's arms.

"Hi baby!" She giggles and it's clear just how drunk she is.

"Whoa, whoa, what the hell is this?" Nathan motions to the girl in his arms, staring at Lucas.

"She's drunk."

"Uh, yeah, I can see that. I thought I asked you to look after her."

"I'm not a goddamn babysitter, Nathan. It's not my fault that your girl drinks too much." He's finding it hard to care what comes out of his mouth. He wants to get Nathan angry. In some twisted way, it makes him feel better.

"You're such a fucking asshole." Nathan spits out at him.

"Whatever." Lucas mutters. He leans against the house as he watches Nathan pick Brooke up in his arms and carry her to his car.

-

Nathan eventually forgives Lucas for the incident after Lucas claims that he was really, _really_ drunk and that he was also really, _really_ sorry.

He actually wasn't much of either.

-

Though Nathan forgives him, he doesn't really talk to him anymore. Lucas figures that maybe Nathan has finally caught on. He's been clueless for an entire year. Maybe his brother finally knows that he's in love with his girlfriend.

Lucas doesn't even feel the least bit nervous about Nathan knowing. He doesn't really feel anything anymore besides anger and jealousy.

-

They're getting married.

Nathan Scott is marrying Brooke Davis.

Lucas thinks they're stupid, because really, who the fuck gets married at eighteen?

When they tell him, he watches an absolutely giddy Brooke show him the ring on her finger. He's almost positive now that Nathan _does_ know, because when Lucas moves his eyes over to him, he thinks that maybe he might see a glint of pity in his eyes. Maybe not.

Deep down, Lucas is hoping that this is what will finally tear them apart. He feels a bit of remorse for thinking this.

In a second, that feeling is gone.

-

Nathan and Lucas stop talking completely, and Lucas figures that Brooke probably thinks they're in some stupid fight and that they'll eventually make up. They won't.

He's really not surprised when Nathan asks him to be his best man at the wedding. Nathan doesn't say it, but Lucas knows that Brooke is forcing him to ask.

As he glances at Brooke watching them talk, he says that he'd be honored to.

They both know that he doesn't mean it.

-

A couple of days later, Nathan warns Lucas to stay the hell way from Brooke.

"Brooke might not be able to see what you're trying to do, but I can," Lucas remembers his conversation with Peyton months before, when things weren't so messed up. "and it's not gonna work, you got that? _I'm _marrying her. I'm the one who she's spending the rest of her life with. _Not you. _So you might as well just get over it."

Things are always easier said than done.

This is the day when Lucas starts to feel bad for longer than just a few moments.

-

Still, with everything that's happened, Lucas is the one standing next to Nathan on his wedding day.

He isn't going to spend the rest of his life with Brooke, but he is _never _going to get over her. He can't stop thinking about how fucked up this is, because she was never actually his.

He feels like shit because the girl he can't seem to let go of is marrying his brother who no longer cares about him.

He's also never felt more alone. It's his own fault, really. He knows this. But that doesn't make it hurt any less.


End file.
